There is a lot of debate surrounding the advantages of living together before marriage. Should couples live together before waiting, planning a wedding, and then marrying? There are some advantages of moving in together before getting married, let’s look at some of those advantages.
When we move in with someone, we can see them for who they are in their natural habitat. We can see their habits, quirks, and beige flags. Beige flags are those quirky things that people do that may be a little odd and off but they are not red flags. Some examples may be that they use phrases incorrectly. They may wear clothes that have holes in them all the time. Maybe they eat their doughnut with a fork. No matter what it is, it is something quirky that’s different about them, but you recognize. We need to ask ourselves if these quirks are things we can deal with.
Can we overlook them as cute or does it irritate us? These may be difficult to change within that person. Living together before marriage would help us figure out if we could live with them.
Another advantage of living together before marriage is that you can face challenges together. This will let us see how the other person deals with these challenges. We can see that they can process stress and deal with adversity. Also, how do they deal with adversity?
It is great when everything is working and everything is positive and there are no problems. We get to see how someone is, especially their emotional intelligence and their ability to deal with stress when we get to see them in action. We can learn a lot as to how they handle the stress. Are they avoidant, do they handle it head-on, or are they argumentative?
Understanding this concept is very important. It is something to work on while you are living together and if someone is doing something that may be red flags you can discuss it and see if it can be changed before getting married. Think about how crazy it could be if you got married and that person is completely explosive or runs out when there is a problem. This would not be helpful or lead to a good marriage.
It is very helpful to become both used to and adjusted to the idea of being married before the actual wedding. Sometimes we may see marriage as a great thing that we put on a pedestal. We may not see it in its true reality. Marriage is a partnership; you are entering into a partnership with someone else that you deal with constantly.
Marriage is a big step in life, it is good to adjust to the idea of getting married as well as adjusting to the partnership. We are bringing someone into our lives and this person will become a major component of our lives. It is helpful to adjust to this concept, otherwise, when people get married it can be overwhelming, and stressful. It is like two single people trying to figure it out without adjusting to the fact that they have merged their lives.
Another great concept is that you will be able to see if you are compatible with them. It is not just being on your best behavior; it is seeing someone daily and figuring out if you are compatible. When things are not that fun or exciting, do you like being around each other? This is something that we can learn quickly once we start living with someone. Over some time we will be able to decide if we want to continue this and go forward or if this is not what you want.
By living together before marriage, you will also learn how to share things. When we are single, we do not share things. However, when you move in with someone you must share the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and the chores. It is good to learn before you get married if this is someone you want to share with. Do you like sharing with them? This lets you learn a lot of things before you say I do.
Moving in together is a big commitment. It is not as big of a commitment as marriage. We have the chance to figure it out and decide if this is what we want without having to go through marriage or going through divorce. It gives us the time to learn about the other person and recognize if this is the relationship that we want to get married to. It gives us the ability to understand things prior to getting married as well as the ability to exit the relationship.
Watch the entire video here:
